Equity Analyst Translations

Equity Analyst ratings changes in plain English:


"Buy" → I have a friend that needs to unload.

"Hold" → I gotta get paid for doing something, so here it is.

"Sell" → I have a friend that wants to load the boat.

"Sector Perform" → Gotta write something about this, so here.

"Outperform" → I have a friend that needs to unload but he isn't that important.

 "Underweight" → This thing was a POS from the get go.

"Overweight" → Best house in a shitty neighbourhood. "

"Price Target Lowered" → We're dumber than we first thought.

"Price Target Raised" → Everyone else is raising it, so we are. Besides, chart says momentum is building up.

Tesla Stock and Rocket Man's Incentive

At some time, 28.7M shares of Tesla common stock (TSLA) must be purchased in the open market by the short interest, which is ~$10,390,659,760 of buying power. If Rocket Man shorted $1B worth of TSLA at today's close and put the price up 10 by bidding to cover, he would lose $28M on the trade, however, his total net worth would increase by $382M, and presto: a $354M net profit or >1,200% risk adjusted return, by shorting your own stock. A thing of beauty.

Open Positions (07-27-2017)

Closed SQ long (5-31-17)

Sold QQQ credit put spread [to open]

 

Long AAPL 140 Calls [to open]